dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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