I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
