I wish I could teleport
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
