he shaved USA in his pubs
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
