girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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