Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
