3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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