i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
