Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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