Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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