it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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