so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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