she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
