Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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