I just saw a hot homeless man
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
