Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
