I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
