Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
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You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day