Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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