fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
