Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
