I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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