Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
