drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize