So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
