Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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