Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
