you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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