Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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