Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize