my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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