If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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