She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
