know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
