he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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