i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
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She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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