If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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