Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
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