Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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