All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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