:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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