he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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