didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
