thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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