I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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