so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
