yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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