I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
