If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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