ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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