Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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