I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
