I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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