the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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