I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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