I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize