I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
