If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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