I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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